My Due Date

If I hadn't had the miscarriage, today would have been the due date.

For months I dreaded this day. I prayed so hard that I'd be pregnant by now. I wondered how I would get through this day not pregnant.

And now the day is here. I'm not really sure what to think. I'm surprisingly not sad. I just think it's crazy that I would've been having my baby any day now. Sometimes I sit and think about how different our life would be right now.

Obviously I wish I was still pregnant and praying that Matthew would be making his debut very soon. I can't wait to meet him someday, to see what he looks like, and to tell him I love him.

But today I'm I actually okay, surprisingly hopeful. I took a personal day and I'm glad I did. It has been nice to have some alone time. I am hopeful for our future, that we will get pregnant again and have healthy children. But Matthew will always be in my heart! I miss him.